Breastfeed in public while preserving your modesty

January 31 is a very tough day for me. It is the day my youngest daughter was born. It is also the day, on her very first birthday, when I lost my court case over custody of my children. It is also the day, on her second birthday, I lost my appeal. My in-laws took my children with their money and political influence, and they won. Each year after that is a difficult one. The toughest day of the year.

A Christian song came out the year she was born that I related to immensely. Natalie Grant wrote this song after some friends lost their baby to death. I only lost mine to my worst enemies, when she was sixteen days old! The song is called, "Held".

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.v This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

________________________________

I thought I would never survive losing my children, let alone a breastfed infant, who was born 19 days early. But, somehow I survived. It is still the hardest day of the year for me.

Enjoy your children and never take them for granted. You never know if they will be with you tomorrow.

Phoebe