Breastfeed in public while preserving your modesty

I will never forget the first time my oldest child, Arianne, resented her sister and engaged in absolute rivalry against her... six months before she was born!! I was about finished with my first trimester of pregnancy with Cheyenne. We were living in hot and humid Turkey as my husband was serving his overseas tour in the Air Force. I was so excited we were having a baby and Arianne was three and a half years old. A new baby was quite welcome.

I was cognizant of the fact that my children would always be at different stages of development, as they would be four years apart. I thought that Arianne would need to graduate from her "baby" toys to something a little more appropriate for her age. My biggest fear was that when the baby came, she would regress into infancy herself and I really wanted to encourage her to be a big girl and a great big sister! My "encouragement" went a little too far one day.

I remember I was completely on a baby craze. Arianne noticed and was none too appreciative of the fact that I was giving this unknown child so much attention while Arianne stood before me and was in my space all the time. I admit, I probably did appear to favor my unborn child more than her at times. I kept talking about how life would change when "the baby" came. I talked about the way we would need to arrange the furniture and closet and toys. I remember "encouraging" Arianne to consider the exciting prospect of upgrading her toys so that "the baby" could have all her old toys. She'd had quite enough. She ran into her room after shouting to me, "I don't want to give my stuff to the baby! Why is everything about the baby?" I felt about two inches tall. I had crushed my child and I felt terrible and she resented her sister, who was months away from being born and had nothing to do with Mommy's craze!

After that, I stopped cold on telling Arianne to share her things with a child not yet here. Very little attention was given to "the baby" when Arianne required personal time. We grew excited about the new person together, and I allowed Arianne her own time to adjust.

That was the "first" sibling rivalry. But after Cheyenne came, Arianne was a model big sister. She loved her baby sister and was fiercely protective of her. They grew extremely close as sisters and their bond unbreakable.

How are your children with one another? Do they fight like crazy or are the bonded as no other? How are you, as a parent, encouraging a positive relationship between your children. As the next generation, they will grow up together and hopefully enjoy their adulthoods as close friends and companions. When you are elderly or ill and need your children the most, that bond, or lack thereof, will make a difference in how you and your affairs are handled. Facilitate a loving relationship with your children and between them. Watch as the bond grows and flourishes and enjoy the great companions you have provided for them within your home. Encourage them to be grateful that they have siblings to play with, cry with, rejoice with, and share with. Many children do not have even the luxury of a close sibling to run to for fellowship. The bonds of brotherhood, (or sisterhood) can be the strongest ties you will ever witness. Make sure your contribution is one that will bless, and not curse, your family and your future.

Happy parenting!
Phoebe